Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Back To the Beginning

   So,here I am.Back at the beginning.A lot has happened.A lot more has not happened.And now I find myself having to come clean,(and it's kind of scary).To myself.To the world.No,scratch that.It's coming clean to myself that scares me the most.
   I must admit.There was a time when I thought I was and had to be world changing.Not famous as in celebrity.Just...Yoda-like in my being.I would say and do profound things.And I would inspire others to do the same.It didn't turn out that way.I was neither profound,nor overly inspiring.At least not on a Yoda level anyway.And I laugh.Now,but not before.Before,my world fell apart.Uncontrollably disassembled before my very eyes.And me being helpless to stop it found myself once again in a place I swore I would never go again.
   I will go into greater detail in later posts.I have to as restarting this blog has become part of my recovery.But long story short, I spent almost all-if not all- of 2014 falling back under the control of my BPD. Yes.I have BPD. Along with Anxiety,and Trichotillomania.
  In 2013 I was on top of my little world.I was on every social media platform,I had an active YT channel,and I was blogging too.I had a few brushes here and there with my tricky little brain before 2013.(F.Y.I, I was formally diagnosed in 2009.)And I was handling things pretty well.Until I wasn't. But that is for another post that, surprisingly enough, I can't wait to get to.
  So here I am to introduce myself.I cannot rightfully say reintroduce and you will soon read why.Just know that I will be honest,sometimes almost embarrassingly so,and I will be open.I will write things you believe I shouldn't. I will confess things I will probably later regret.There will be sweat,and there will be tears......And there will be fun.