Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year,New Question

Salaam Alaikum and Hello,

   So 2013 is gone. How did my year end and how did 2014 begin?
   My new year's eve was horrible, but not as bad as Lauren Destefano's. She rung in the new year as a popsicle. She tweeted that her heat went out in the wee hours of the morning. She waited for the repairman all day only to find out that the repair company lost her order. By the time I hit the sheets at 8 pm- yes, 8 pm- it was 30F in her house. She was frozen and almost in tears. I hope she found warmth somewhere else.
   My evening drove me to the sheets. First, I drove 45 minutes only to find my B&N had closed at 6:30. On the way back home I ordered hot wings from my fave wing place in an effort to cheer myself up. The girl forgot parts of my order, and my husband forgot to check all was in order before leaving the counter. So when I got home I had wings and homemade chips but no Blue Cheese or Ranch. There are so few things I am adamant about. But if I am paying you,I expect you to give me what I payed for. And no I couldn't just go back. The restaurant is 30 minutes from my home. So after eating, I go in search of the flossers in the bathroom. When eating wings toothpicks don't cut it. I have tight teeth and flossing is the only way. They're not there. I look everywhere- where the bag of flossers could be and a few places where they couldn't. I do have kids who put things in the craziest of places. I finally ask my husband only to find out that he'd dropped the whole lot into the toilet. Mental notes:(1) Raid dentist's old- fashioned floss stash. (2) Keep an emergency stash of floss in my bedside table.
   So there they are- my three strikes. No sweetness in between strikes either. It was a 1-2-3 punch that just felt all wrong considering my day had been going along so unremarkable. So after saying a little prayer for Lauren, I turn in.Maybe January first will be better. Man was I wrong.
   I woke up to the sad realization that last night had actually happened. And after 15 hours of somewhat uninterrupted sleep, (I woke up for Fajr and to feed Ibrahim breakfast. The kids slept), I am still exhausted. (Big shout out to winter break and PMS.) Ibrahim wakes up WELL rested and bouncing with joy. The kids wake up ravenous, and I can't feed them fast enough. My son is content with his massive bowl of cinnamon flavored cereal. My daughter pushes away the cereal, and begs for waffles and ice cold milk. Fine. Out of the freezer comes the waffles, into the freezer goes the milk. So far an ordinary morning washes away a disappointing evening.
   My husband, feeling bad about the sad turn of events last night, calls to say he'll duck out early and we'll do what we had planned to do yesterday- B&N ,coffee and sandwiches ,reading, all that jazz. Oh the joys of owning one's own business. Sounds delightful. Wait. Are those screeching breaks I hear getting closer?? Yep. My son, true to his procrastinator form, says he needs to do homework. He could bring his work to do at B&N you suggest? NO. The last time I allowed that he forgot the materials necessary for two of the four assignments. And that was just the last incident. Whenever he does his homework somewhere other than home he can't finish it. He does his homework at home where there is everything he needs except excuses. Ten days of no school and he doesn't do a thing? Just when I felt our last sit down with him had finally worked, I realize I am going to have to return to my life as a barnacle on his back. I call to cancel with my husband, and sit down to write this blog post with a bag of Hershey's kisses.
   And here you find me dear reader. My laptop in my lap and a considerably lighter Hershey bag by my side. My son having finished his homework, sadly finds himself on KP (kitchen patrol). It's dark outside. The sun having set on my day if discontent. I don't know if it's PMS, or if I have a valid reason for being so upset. Is it possible to ask for something and have it come off with out a hitch? To have it come off period? It seems like more and more personal things happen in my life as a result of a glitch. I am in no way implying that I wish I did not have children or that I was not married. I do know that family life is hectic and trying,but also beautiful and satisfying. But, is it selfish to want something that is personally gratifying to happen without a problem? Is it bad to be sore at the fact that while I make efforts for other peoples personal wants, mine hit snags and brick walls? Do the snags happen because no one cares or because that is just the way things are? I can't make heads or tales of it when I can't get to a bookstore for the past two days for coffee, a sandwich, and a book. It would seem as if every time I want to do something for myself I am asking to win the lottery.
   So. Is is bad to want something that is personally gratifying to happen without a problem? To say, " I want to do,or I want to accomplish ...." and it occur without running into any bumps? Especially if it is a simple thing. Weigh in guys. Let me know if I'm over reacting.